I gave up cable late last year for a couple of reasons, a) it's expensive and I hate giving Comcast more money than they actually need, b) the number of "quality" (guilty pleasures don't fall into this category) shows on standard cable (this excludes Showtime, HBO and all those other channels you have to pay extra for) is about 1%, c) the amount of time I've wasted being sucked into the tube, instead of reading, cleaning or doing something a lot more productive, is more than I would like to admit (TV show marathons are, oh so, evil), d) the delusional lives characters lead in even the most esteemed quality of shows is so far from any reality it leaves itself being so misleading and so much an overly absorbing fantasy that it leaves one (well, me at least), way too hopeful of a nonexistent lifestyle.
Although I hate to admit it, I still watch my corny television shows. The internet leaves a consumer without cable, i.e. someone like me, with entirely too many options to watch TV shows -- it's "pirated" streaming (who knows these days anymore, hence the quotation marks), Netflix, Hulu, and oh so many other resources. It's really difficult to cut complete ties with this addiction to watching fictional lives (and I'm going to include the Real Housewives of Everywhere in this category, because seriously, that shit ain't real) of characters who are developing their personalities' strengths, weaknesses, unique qualities and their overall paths in life. There's something about escaping into someone else's fabricated world that makes me, and about 90% of the rest of America (because that's why Americans are fat, lazy and watching 10+ hours of the boob tube a day), craving more. Now while I'm taking steps to break away from getting sucked into more unnecessary fantasy lives I don't need to know about, I'm still having a difficult time giving up my go-to's that I started watching before I cut ties with the cable box. This includes It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (this show, BY NO MEANS, falls into the fantasy life category, it's just hilarious and brilliant and the best goddamn show on the damn tube), Top Gear (also doesn't count), Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Glee, Rescue Me, Real Housewives of...New York, Atlanta, Orange County, eek, New Jersey aaaand, Beverly Hills (gah, don't judge, I've cutback, I swear), and while I've always found my way to watch certain Showtime shows including, Californication, Weeds, Dexter and now Shameless, Entourage (non-Showtime obviously), and maybe some others I can't think of off hand. What is it about these shows that have us coming back for more?
Take for instance an oldie, but goodie, Sex and the City -- it's one of my all time favorite shows and I watch it when I'm in need of overdue girl time, relationship therapy or if I want to compare how small my shoe collection is to that of Carrie Bradshaw's. With this show, I'm drawn to the fashion, OH THE FASHION. All the unattainable Chanel, Givenchy, Dolce & Gabbana, Alexander McQueen, Prada, Dior, Cholé, Yves Saint Laurent, Vivienne Westwood, Lanvin, Valentino, Kate Spade, Manolo Blahniks, Jimmy Choos, Christian Louboutins, god, you name it, the fashion, the sheer AMOUNT of fashion is endless in this show. In reality, there is absolutely NO WAY, that a 30-something writer for a newspaper, not even the New York Times, just the New York Observer (not even the Post or something!), lives in a chic New York apartment in whatever fabulous neighborhood as the same as Barneys, goes out to endless amounts of cocktail hours and dinners at the chicest of chic NY restaurants and has the spending leeway to splurge at Saks, Barneys, Bergdorfs, on thousand dollar dresses, hundreds of dollar shoes and handbags worth the $5k bracket. It just doesn't work that way, unless said person is a trust fund baby with Daddy's/Mommy's credit card and expense account OR they married some fantastically self-made millionaire (lets hope he/she is also not a hedgefund baby) and thus has money to burn. Seriously though, credit cards don't go away, nor does rent, health insurance, incidentals or life in general. So while the fashion on it's own is already an indication of a fantasy life, the show goes on develop upon the love lives of four ladies in their thirties. They go on dates dressed to the nines for often times amazingly attractive or sometimes adorably attractive men, they gossip, dissect and contemplate each prospect, they have endless amounts of amazing sex (all orgasms included, for the most part at least, or otherwise there is some hilarity involved if not) and then if they get hurt, there's some fantastic therapy session involved to make it all better. Would these, or do these rather, scenarios play out in the real world? Seriously though, do they? I've never really been near a situation where something remotely related to this type of fantasy life could blossom. Sure, I have my shoes, they're ALL paid for in full except for one pair which I'm currently paying off ($100 for $565 Just Cavalli shoes won't break the bank and yes, I really did need them), but I own no wildly expensive haute couture designer dress, nor do I have an endless calendar booked with dates with fantastically attractive men, I just live my life, day to day, in a job where I find myself dissatisfied (not complaining, still working on the next move), but with friends I love that I always feel I never see often enough, family I adore and a sister I never get sick of seeing (her hubby is bundled in with the never sick of seeing, 1 becomes 2 with marriage! and not in a bad way of course), a home, including the kitten, I love despite its price tag, a car I love just as much despite its monthly payment, but there's always something missing. The mere idea of life falling into place with the career, home, love life would be great. Sure I'm young, but TV shows like Sex and the City aren't helping me realize reality, which is why it's probably a good thing that I haven't watched it in over a year.
So Sex and the City is an extreme when it comes to the material (clothes, apartment, dining, etc.) and relationship department, but there are shows out there which don't even stress on the materialistic consumerist cravings, but still manage to depict a fantasy life to some extent. I just finished watching Season 1 of the British version of Shameless. The American version is just starting and already, with the first episode, I was completely absorbed and wanting more. This story portrays a broken family with 6 children, a missing mother and a drunken, government scamming father, all of who live in a small house with quite limited means where everyone pitches in to make ends meet. From this description, in no way does it sound like a fantasy life. No one actually wants to be poor, have a father who is brought to the house late a night only to pass out in drunken state in the middle of the floor, and try to keep a family of 6 children of various ages straight. If this were the mere focus of the story and no other characters were incorporated, you would think, well that's not anything near a fantasy. BUT, the minute you incorporate the boy meets girl, OH MAN, the fantasy starts. Never, never ever, is there a moment where a guy sees a girl at a club, is too shy to buy her a drink, but then sees her again a month later at another club, only to attempt a chivalrous move of chasing down the thief who stole her purse (and then punch out the bouncer for not doing his job) and then woo her into going to her home and proceed to turn on the charm full blast where she falls for him (obviously) and then thereafter, they blossom into having a healthy relationship. Really? Who are we kidding. For one, what guy actually does that for a girl he's never met? The days of love at first sight are oh so far away and even lust at first sight, who does that?? But say, this guy actually does exist, girls are generally suspicious of any guy trying to put on the moves, despite how "knight in shining armor" it is, and in their right mind wouldn't invite him home to their house containing 5 other younger family members. I mean, come on, who are we kidding. Only in TV does this sort of scenario take place and that, right there, is a fantasy. Men will love the show for it's raunchy nature and occasionally crude, yet witty humor and women will like it for the same, but then, there's the fantasy element where we go, "Aww, that's so sweet! Look how he just does that and oh look, they're going to hook up and then he's going to charm her and send her a washing machine and prove he's a legitimate guy and wake up spooning." WHO DOES THAT. No one I know and if there is some guy out there that actually reenacts this scene wholeheartedly without ever seeing the show, I'd like to meet him and possibly send him to a shrink. Maybe I'm just cynical. Cynical about relationships especially because that department has never been particularly lucky for me (I'm still optimistic, it'll all work out...I'll swoon and find myself foolish for writing a blog entry such as this...my cynicism about love will evaporate and all will be bunnies and roses and rainbows. ok, maybe not the latter, but you get my point). Even with a completely dysfunctional family at the forefront of a show, we still have the fantasy.
This is why I'm trying to break away from TV. It's not to say I can't get my fantasy fill from other sources -- there are cheesy romantic comedies, even solemn movies have the element of fantasy, books, old school books (helloooo Pride and Prejudice), and the memories that haunt us. Everything around us can eventually turn into a fantasy, a long lost dream, an escape. And while I can't hate TV too much for giving content that's entirely too unrealistic, I still can try to distance myself from it and only resort to it when I really feel the need to indulge, so I can continue to focus on what's actually real -- bills, career, relationships and life in general. We can use the fantasies to fuel the healthy of our imaginations, but too much indulging will leave us delusional and wishing too much for a life that can't possibly exist (and heaven forbid if we try to reenact such life...can you imagine your credit card bills if you tried to be Carrie Bradshaw? and no, not even selling every article of clothing you have to pay off your debts like in "Confessions of a Shopaholic" is anywhere near reality).
It's difficult to live life realistically, but it's even more difficult to believe in a life so wildly unrealistic that you'll end up failing yourself and your perception of life in the long run.
I leave you with Yelle's, A cause des garçons. Oh those damn boys.
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