We all use it. It's great, it's easy, it's convenient. It's texting. It's the neat little ping that arrives on your phone with a message from your friend, your boy/girl friend, a family member, or some SMS program you signed up for and forgot about (always a let down message if you're waiting for something special or at least more amusing than a branded message about 20% off something you don't need). Texting is great. When you're in a crowded bar and can't hear anything, it's so much easier to switch from your call to a text when you're inviting your friend to come join you. When you're going to a friend's place and you almost forgot the directions, you can just text them and then they're right there, easily accessible so you never have to forget where to go. Texting is great for a multitude of reasons. If you really just need a quick answer on something, a text will be a lot faster than a phone call (because heaven forbid you have to deal with AT&T's dropping calls problem in heavily populated metropolitan areas). It's also great at those times when you can't make a phone call, like being in a long boring meeting or stuck in a lecture hall bored out of your mind. But, there comes a time when texting as a communication solution is NOT ok. I repeat, it is NOT ok. This brings me to the subject of this entry, text dating.
Let me define text dating for you. Text dating is essentially dating a person through text messages. You never actually hear their voice, you rarely see them, you do the online chatting whether it's through AIM, Bonjour, gchat, Facebook, Skype, or any other digital medium you know well for real time messaging and maybe you email, but dear god, you will get 100s of text messages from this person, all of which make you wonder, why the hell are you wasting my text messages? Just CALL ME. I've spoken to two girlfriends recently about this, and we all agree. There comes a point when holding a conversation over text messages is just silly and more annoying than anything. After a while, it just becomes a bit dull and you feel like you're talking to a sterile, pre-defined wall that knows what answers to spit out. There's no phone call hesitation, no breaths, no tone (besides assumed tones which just get you into ALL sorts of trouble), it's just words on a screen. Now those words on a screen can be sweet and make you go, "awww," but then you realize, why the hell didn't this guy just pick up the phone and call me to tell me that? Yes, I'm categorizing this as a boy initiation.
Boys. Boys boys boys. We love them, we hate them, we like them, we want to slap them, we just want them to understand that girls with all their complexities can still be pretty easy to figure out if you just try, just a wee little bit. Now to me, when a guy wants to initiate a conversation with "Hey" over a text message, my first thoughts are, "Really, you wasted one text message just to type 3 letters." O_O Not ok. My response clearly now has to be a question, because OF COURSE, the boy could not ask a question in his text conversation initiation, he couldn't just start by asking how I am, what I'm doing, if I found a new love of rolling in the grass, oh no, there couldn't possibly be a question in that first text. So you do the small talk and what not, because you can't just jump into the serious stuff. You have to waste at least 20 more text messages before you start needling at more interesting questions. When you finally do get to the serious part of it, your thumbs hurt, you're thinking, really? why can't you just call me? is it that hard? Giving me carpal tunnel is a better alternative? Apparently! Because he keeps going! Now here, I'm sure someone can interject and ask, well why doesn't the girl just call him? And granted, you counter arguing nincompoop may have a point there, but in the trials and tribulations of like and love, it's the guy's job to call first. Take a stand. Don't be a coward. Just do it, we'll appreciate you more and won't talk smack behind your back because we think you don't have any balls (or perhaps a sensible brain) to hold a real conversation.
Yes, I'm harsh, but with good reason. I've fallen into the text dating situation one too many times and now that I see it becoming a trend, it just makes me hopelessly sigh that the amount of men out there with balls are dwindling away. Now granted, there are some situations when the text dating is ok, but those situations usually fall into digital dating where phones don't exist or computers with microphones aren't available so your only form of communication is through the written word. Fine. But for those with active cell connections and clearly enough money to spend on an unlimited texting plan, I, and many, many other ladies are going to expect more from you.
So with this faux holiday of love upon us, boys, I implore you, do your girlfriends, your ladies on the side, your love interests a favor, and just call her. Call her to say, "Hey," call her to tell her you think she's amazing, call her to ask her if she's found a new found love of rolling in the grass, just call her, even for a couple of minutes. Relinquish your fear of the hour long conversation, because you're not obligated to it, all you have to do is just use this fabulously non-modern form of communication to just say something nice and for god's sake be honest with yourself and don't chicken out on being open with your emotions. You might get turned down, but it could be worse, you could've have not even tried.
So since the big V-day is upon us, I give you a mushy love song (and yes, it's country).
Ok, one more because I love this song:
